Looking back, looking forward

As I sit here in one of my favorite coffee shops outside San Francisco, I am finally getting the time to reflect. The past couple days since I arrived back on American soil have been intense; I have been on an emotional roller coaster with all the culture differences, not to mention that I haven't really slept.

As I look back on the past four months of my life I remember the first month was the most intense month. It was overwhelming to show up in a huge foreign city with very little plan and hope to settle quickly.  It was a daily struggle to search for a place to call home, learn the language/culture, deal with the emotions of missing home and to enjoy the moment. It was definitely one of the toughest months of my life.

As life started to unfold itself, it felt out of control yet exhilarating. Determining my steps was changing daily. I had no idea what direction to step in, but by the grace of God, plans started to fall into place. Emotions were high and Jenn definitely didnt see the most beautiful parts of me, but in hindsight, the challenges of moving to another country and culture with one of your best friends forced me to see really hard things about myself and catapulted me to personal growth in ways that I never expected. There were parts of myself I never wanted to acknowledge and was forced to.

As I went to Vietnam and Cambodia, I had very little expectation and was allowed to truly enjoy the outcome. It was one of the funnest months of my life and such a unique/defining opportunity. I can also describe my trip to Bali as life changing. After months of pressing myself to face reality, it all culminated in Bali. My questions of myself were answered and I feel as if I was given a new hope for the future. Clarity at its finest.

As I look forward, I am excited about the potential. I want to embrace life and myself in a different way. I want to feel more. I want to express more. I am walking towards it; I want to be more of me.

My time in South East Asia has changed me in many ways, many of which are so subtle that I may only realize them years from now. Home and safety has a new meaning. Im grateful for the people who have inspired me, hoped for me, allowed me to just 'be' and continue to love me. Thank you.